Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Catcher in the Rye

When you can see yourself in a story... Right when you are reading, you ARE the character. It's like reading a mirror or your own journal or looking at your pictures and telling yourself your stories.
Feeling lost and depressed and sitting alone among people, with nothing to do at night, just as Holden goes to Ernie's.
Don't want to go back to my room but feeling lonesome among familiar faces; yet wanting to be alone.
"Yellow"
Don't actually mind being "depressed".
Feeling contained yet intruded. Feeling awkward, but this is the most comfortable I can get for now. Being in a submarine, watching the world from a safe window. Soundproofing myself, but can't thoughtproof... The mind has no cover....
This is a very uncomfortable way of making myself feel comfortable....

14/7/7 12:20am nightmess book,music,chai

14 comments:

Aur Batao said...

kya baat hain....nice one...

Shivani Gakhar said...

thanx... my state of mind wasn't very "nice" though ;)

Neelam Prabhugaonker Shetye said...

is this what is stumbled upon yesterday?
really nice :)
but as u said...guess ur state of mind wud have been (censored) :p

Shivani Gakhar said...

thanx... how far hav u reached in the book...? read that part in the nightmess, alone.. u'll trip.. ;)

Neelam Prabhugaonker Shetye said...

Life is like the moon. You can only see one side at a time. Here's hoping you always see the good side of it.

It may sound a bit corny...but its so true....... :)

Shivani Gakhar said...

so when its fuul moon, the other side is dark and when its new moon, is the other side bright..??
the moon analogy is interesting but it somehow seems distant.. quite literally! ;)

Neelam Prabhugaonker Shetye said...

even when its new moon, u are still facing the bright side. its your vision and not the moon that is clouded..... :))
anyways...lets not digress :p :p
as long as u got the point....... which i know u did ;)

Shivani Gakhar said...

yeah.. hum to yahan chat karne lage hain... :) thanx to "netiquette" he he :)

Anil P said...

If you get hold of Somorset Maugham's The Razor's Edge, read it.

At one point when growing up I saw myself in that story as well, and know how it feels.

Shivani Gakhar said...

sure, will try to find the book.. lets see.. :)

H.S. said...

The book almost killed me.

Shivani Gakhar said...

yeah!!

good to know i have regulars on my blog now :)

Siddhartha Joshi said...

i too felt extremely weird while reading the book...but I guess its not so much about the book though. I loved your post, but even that was uncomfortable to read. Maybe too familiar and thats why.

Where were you then? Not the physical self, but your being...Its sometimes nice to just float and be be nowhere...but thats a dangerous state to be in...addictive...

Shivani Gakhar said...

i can understand... somehow it becomes easier to relate to negativity than positiveness... the downward spiral is usually smooth... n thats when we start flowing with it... its uncomfortable to get out of, but necessary.... although infrequent tripping is harmless i guess.. and .. enriching :)