Wednesday, June 27, 2007

doodle mind

The doodle book
The doodle brain
The doodle mind
Twisting into noodle
Entangled and tied
Some open ends
Some lost strings
Appearing and disappearing
Knots, loops, ends
Doodle noodle spaghetti
Fruit salad
Word Salad
Twisting and tumbling knots
And some smooth strings...
Somewhat jumbled
Just let it be......

11-2-7 2:30pm nid

Catcher in the Rye

When you can see yourself in a story... Right when you are reading, you ARE the character. It's like reading a mirror or your own journal or looking at your pictures and telling yourself your stories.
Feeling lost and depressed and sitting alone among people, with nothing to do at night, just as Holden goes to Ernie's.
Don't want to go back to my room but feeling lonesome among familiar faces; yet wanting to be alone.
Don't actually mind being "depressed".
Feeling contained yet intruded. Feeling awkward, but this is the most comfortable I can get for now. Being in a submarine, watching the world from a safe window. Soundproofing myself, but can't thoughtproof... The mind has no cover....
This is a very uncomfortable way of making myself feel comfortable....

14/7/7 12:20am nightmess book,music,chai

Saturday, June 09, 2007

Last few days at Auroville

It is difficult to be almost torn between two beautiful places… one I am leaving and one I am going to. I don’t know if I am feeling excited or depressed. Both, I guess.. It’s weird though. I don’t take changes easily. I like continuity, not change. My mind spaces out and looks at what’s happening through a semi-transparent veil, at the same time struggling to take in as much as I can, of every second that’s left.

While I try not to think of what more I could have done, I try to think of what more I can do now, when I go back. I usually don’t realize what I have learnt, but I do remember, sometimes, how things change me. The changes have been going good… ☺

Some places stay with us long after we leave, making us feel incomplete, making us crave to get back. There are very few places like this, making us want to give back for what it has given us.

I have missed NID every single day during this time, knowing all this while that I’ll really miss this place too. Internship at Upasana, Auroville can be called as “close to perfection” in the language of a mind that drools with the thought of beads, scrap and craft. The most beautiful thing that I got out of this place is peace.

Can’t sum it up really, but wouldn’t want to put the beauty of my experience plainly…

Star gazing
Moon walking
Cycling at sunset on the red sand road

Beach mornings
Evening Movies
Feeling silence at the banyan tree

Gliding frogs and tiny lizards
Newfound pets, kichu and the dogs

Post lunch naps and tea break tripping
Off and on getting beady eyed
Little parties and lots of conversation
Walking barefeet in the “corporate” world

Three crazy pilgrims on a little bike
Trying to capture every single moment
Opening eyes to beautiful dreams
And minds to beautiful realities…. Possibilities…

I hope life brings me back here.

Friday, June 01, 2007


Lying on the grass on Matrimandir gardens, Auroville during full moon....

I am suddenly aware of the vast horizontalness of this place and while lying down on the grass, looking at the moon, I change my perspectve. I feel like I am standing, leaning on the earth with the universe on my side, I feel like a tiny fly on a wall. The trees, buildings, all are just little bumps on the wall. There is so much more for a fly to see. And I start feeling a little detached to the earth and closer to the universe.

I am not flying, but I am in the sky.